A Kick in the Teeth is Good for Some
by whaleshork
Summary: All Ritsu wants is to be content. But something destructive won't stop growing inside of him. He thinks he knows how to get rid of it once and for all, but there is only one person who can help him. Unfortunately, that person is Teruki Hanazawa.
1. Regret

Ritsu stood at the door of what was hopefully the right apartment address, frozen in a moment of hesitation. Would he even be home? Should he have called first? Is he really going to be up for spending his summer with…this guy?

Well, he'd definitely be home. It was the first Sunday morning after the end of the school year. Around this time, everyone likes to take it easy. Why would he be any different?

Ritsu knocked and waited. There was some noise and fumbling behind the door.

"Just a second!" A rather cheery voice called out. Ritsu felt his stomach sink.

The door opened and out came a boy dressed in an obnoxiously bright pink and green shirt and ripped jeans, with a bright smile on his face. And Ritsu immediately regretted everything.

Yeah. This was a mistake.

"Brother-kun?" said the boy in surprise.

"Hi… Teru-san." The restraint and discomfort in Ritsu's voice was appallingly obvious, but Teruki's smile and upbeat attitude seemed completely unaffected.

"What a surprise!" He said with joy, "I wasn't expecting company today! Please, come in!"

Even worse, Ritsu thought, He can't take a hint.

Teruki held the door open, leaving Ritsu no way out. It was much too late to turn back now. He'd just have to tell him. He'd just have to say it. He should have written a will before coming here.

"Sorry about the mess!" said Teruki. "If I had known you were coming, I would have prepared properly." What mess? Ritsu thought as he took off his shoes and looked around the room. There seemed to be some left over breakfast on the table, but that was about it. The rest of the room was almost sparkling clean. It was hard for Ritsu to wrap his head around. Just who was this boy?

"Have a seat anywhere, I was just brewing some tea." Ritsu wondered what Teruki meant by "anywhere" since there was only a small coffee table with two chairs in the room, but he wasn't about to nitpick Teru's sloppy choice of words.

Teru poured two cups of tea and sat down across from Ritsu at the coffee table. "So what brings you here?" he asked, blowing on his cup.

You got yourself into this, Ritsu. No going back now.

"Teru-san…" he started, "I guess I'll get to the point." Ritsu took a sip of his tea and looked back at Teruki, whose eyes were locked onto his, fully attentive. This guy…

"The truth is, I'm not sure if I can trust you." So much for getting straight to the point, but Ritsu felt the need to test this boy. He had to make sure if he was the right person to ask.

And much to Ritsu's annoyance, the comment he made didn't seem to have much of an effect on Teru, who was still showing the same smile from before.

"Trust me?" he said, with some condescension in his voice. "Brother-kun, we've fought together before on multiple occasions. I would think that standoffish attitude of yours would at least subside a little bit."

I'll show you standoffish, bastard.

"Maybe that's true," Ritsu said, trying to compose himself. "But I know almost nothing about you. We've pretty much only talked to each other when we were in a near-death situation! That doesn't really give me much to go off of. I know nothing about you, or your relationship to my brother. As far as I'm concerned, you're just some random stranger who goes to another school."

"You're brother never told you about me?" Teru's smile was gone. But for some reason, Ritsu wasn't satisfied with this. Teru's expression looked a bit more melancholy, but it was hard to tell. His eyes were nearly impossible to read.

But it seemed like Ritsu found his weak point.

"Not exactly," Ritsu said. "But I've put some of the pieces together."

"Oh?" Teruki said, his expression turning more serious. Ritsu liked that expression better.

"It's just a little suspicious, is all," Ritsu started, holding back a smirk. He's really got Teruki on the ropes now. "One night i come visit my brother and he's moping about his powers, and I turn on the TV and it just so happens that an entire school building was lifted up into the sky."

A few drops of sweat appeared by Teru's eye. This was good. Ritsu kept going.

"A little while later I'm mistaken for this 'White T Poison' guy who apparently beat up someone by your exact name."

Teru froze in place. His expression turned from unreadable to entirely transparent. Ritsu could see his guilt clear as day. And it was so, so satisfying.

Until it changed again. The smile was back, and it was more sinister this time, like the smile he showed Ritsu the first day they met.

"I suppose that's a good reason not to trust me," he started. "But couldn't I say the same thing to you?"

Ritsu clenched his teeth. Teruki seemed to immediately catch on to what this was. Now Ritsu was no longer on the offense.

"Tell me," Teruki started again. "Did you come here to learn more about what happened that day? Because I'll tell you if you want. But I'd really like to know more about what you were doing going around by your brother's name, beating up on the weak."

It was over. Ritsu had to admit defeat to himself. This conversation couldn't go any further.

"No, that's not why I came." Ritsu had to restrain himself from punching Teru in his smug face. This smile was by far the worst one. But, in a way, it was deserved. Teru won. Ritsu had to accept this.

"The truth is that I need help and you're my last resort."

"Do you think calling me a last resort is going to make me want to help you?" Teru joked.

"Well, you're actually my only resort. You're the only one who can help me."

Ritsu took a deep breath.

"As much as I hate to admit it," Ritsu said, "You're an amazing fighter. Your psychic powers are some of the best I've seen."

"I'm flattered, Brother-kun," said Teru, "But I think you and I both know I'm not the best out there."

"I'm not looking for my brother's kind of power!" snapped Ritsu. Teru went silent, realizing he struck a nerve that might have gone a bit too deep. Ritsu took a deep breath and continued, "I don't even think he knows how his powers work. But you're a bit different, Hanazawa. I think your powers are a bit similar to mine."

"So you want to get stronger?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you asking me?"

"What?"

"You just don't seem to like me that much. What about that redhead kid? He's probably about as talented as I am, and you actually seem to like him."

"Actually, he's the reason I came here." Teru looked confused. It was time to stop beating around the bush. Ritsu took another breath and looked Teru dead in the eyes.

"I want to kick Suzuki's ass."


	2. Growing Pains

"So let me get this straight," said Teru, rather straightfaced and serious. "You want me to help you get stronger so you can beat up Suzuki?"

"Yeah," Ritsu responded.

"No."

"What?"

"I said no."

"But why?"

Teru stared Ritsu straight in the face, dead serious. "I can already tell how this is going to end. If you have a grudge against him I urge you to let it go, because kicking his ass isn't going to make you feel any better."

"It's not a grudge!"

"Then what is it, Brother-kun?"

"I…" Ritsu paused, and that old familiar sinking feeling in his came back. What was the reason? For some time, he mistook it for fear. Other times, he believed it to be anger. Or maybe it was frustration? No, none of those words fit it quite right. It was a strange anxiety that grew from his stomach and out through his throat from his mouth, puncturing and destroying everything in it's path. It grew into his eyes, his head, his nose… what was it? It was painful. It was impossible to ignore. He didn't know what to call it, but he knew one thing for sure.

"It's complicated," Ritsu finally blurted out. "I like Suzuki. He's a friend, and he believes in me, but…"

Ritsu felt it growing. It was in his throat now. He clenched his fists and gulped it down, trying to subdue it. Even if he could push it back down, it would always be there. It dug its roots deep into his stomach, down through his intestines. It was sickening. Ritsu wanted to throw up.

I want to destroy it from the source.

"It doesn't really have anything to do with Suzuki. I just have to do this, or I can't move on."

Ritsu looked down at his cup, and then back at Teru who was looking rather concerned.

"Look," said Ritsu. "It's not like I want to get revenge on him or anything. I just want to beat him. Just once. After that things can go back to normal."

Teru sighed.

"Ok," he said. "I'll help you out."

"Really?" Ritsu was surprised at how quick Teru's change of heart was.

Does Teru-san…

No. That couldn't be it.

"Yes, I'll do it," replied Teru, "But it'll be hell, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"I haven't seen him fight too much, but from what I have seen he's definitely powerful. He managed to beat that guy with the black-hole power. Even I haven't quite figured that technique out just yet, and yet Suzuki managed to beat him in a second. Even though I've improved a lot since then, I'm not sure if I could beat him in a fight just yet."

"What do you mean 'yet'? Do you think you'll be able to eventually?"

"Psychic powers aren't everything, but I don't see the harm in setting high goals for yourself. Doesn't every athlete aim to be the best in the world?"

"So you aim to beat my brother eventually?"

"I really don't think that's possible. But I might as well try. Even if I fail, I'll at least wind up being the best I can possibly be."

Teru then noticed Ritsu's sharp glare and tensed up.

"Hey, calm down! It's not like I plan to actually fight your brother! Like I said, it's just an impossible goal. I'll probably never reach that point anyway."

Ritsu exhaled. Teru was right. His brother's powers were on a completely different level altogether. They were something unachievable. Losing to him was hardly something to be ashamed of. Ritsu had accepted that a long time ago, and was now mostly at peace with being weaker than him. But still...

"So," said Ritsu, bringing the conversation back on track, "You'll do it?"

"Yeah, I'll do it."

Teru waited for a response, but Ritsu had none. The situation was conflicting, to say the least. Ritsu wasn't entirely sure if he should be happy about this situation. And eventually, the conversation turned into an awkward staring contest that lasted a full thirty seconds. And every second was of it was more painful than the last.

"Uh… So…" Teru said, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah," Ritsu replied.

"When do you, uh, want to start?"

"As soon as possible. I'd like to get this over with."

"Alright, I'm just thinking about how I'm gonna do this."

"What do you mean?"

"Well with the Awakening Lab kids it was a bit easier to train them since their powers were so underdeveloped, but with you, I feel like even a simple spar could end up with both of us, uh, breaking some shit."

"Yeah, true."

A smile crept onto Teru's face, as if he had an idea. Ritsu had a very bad feeling about this.

Ritsu's alarm went off the next morning, if you could even call it a morning. It was still dark out, and everyone else was asleep. As Ritsu shut off the alarm he saw the time. Four in the morning.

I'm gonna fucking kill him.

Ritsu went through his morning routine as quietly as he could. He put on a sweater and some shoes and crept out the door, making sure not to wake anyone up. The time was now 4:15 am and Ritsu wished he was dead.

After about ten minutes of walking he finally reached the bus stop that he and Teru had planned to meet at. And standing there in his usual tracksuit with a rather large backpack, bright and early without a hint of exhaustion on his face was Teruki Hanazawa. Seriously, who the hell was this boy...

"Brother-kun!" Teru waved, gesturing Ritsu toward him with a bright smile on his face.

I can see you asshole.

"Can you stop calling me that?"

"Calling you what?"

"'Brother-kun.' It's annoying. Just call me Ritsu."

"Ah. Ok, Ritsu-kun. Are you ready to start?"

"Probably not."

"Good answer."


	3. Simple

The bus arrived not too long after Ritsu showed up. Teru payed for the tickets as he had promised, and they both made their way to their seats.

"So where exactly are we going?" Ritsu asked.

"It's a surprise!"

Of course it was, but Ritsu was too tired to complain or protest. The bus was mostly empty with nobody else but a single sleeping man in a suit. Now that he and Teru were both sitting down, Ritsu was beginning to realize just how hard it was to keep his eyes open. The night was foggy and there was hardly another car on the road. Stoplights shot by like shooting stars, putting Ritsu into a hazy trance. Surely, there was no harm in getting a little bit of shuteye. Ritsu shuffled his body into a comfortable position and closed his eyes.

It didn't take long for his consciousness to fade. As soon as he shut his eyes he immediately began to drift off. And just as quickly as he left the waking world, he was brought right back by the feeling of a cold sensation dripping down from his head and onto his back and chest.

"What the fuck?!" Ritsu yelled, as he jolted awake and looked to his right to see Teruki holding a now half-empty water bottle in his hand and sporting a shit-eating grin.

"No sleeping!" Teru put a cap on the watter bottle and reached back into his giant backpack.

"You assho-MPH" Ritsu was about to tell Teru off, but his mouth was suddenly full of something rather tasty. Teru was holding a breakfast sandwich in his mouth.

"Eat," said Teru. "It's going to be a long bus ride, and you need to stay awake for all of it. So, if you're tired, eat."

Ritsu took a bite and swallowed, pulling the sandwich out of his mouth.

"I already ate a banana this morning."

"Not enough. Eat or you'll regret it later. Our next meal is at noon. Although I'll allow for a single snack break once we reach our destination."

Ritsu reluctantly took another bite of the sandwich. He hated to admit it, but it was really good. For some reason, that pissed Ritsu off even more.

But Teru was right about one thing; the bus ride was really long. And staying awake for it was torture. The opportunity for sleep was dangling right in front of Ritsu's eyes, but his jacket and shirt were still damp from Teru's cruel wake up call. Ritsu looked back at Teru, who was staring straight ahead with bright eyes. There wasn't a hint of exhaustion on his face.

Is he even human?

It was exactly six when Teru nudged an exhausted Ritsu to notify him that this was their stop. A hint of light was just peaking out through the foggy horizon, but anyone could still mistake the scene for night. The stop Teru had picked seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. There was only an old looking bus stop, and a lot of forrest just off the road.

"Ok!" said Teru, in an obnoxiously cheery voice. "Now we can start."

"Is this where we'll be doing psychic training?"

Teru laughed, as if Ritsu had just said something absurd.

"Psychic training?" Teru laughed, as if Ritsu had just said something absurd. "We still have a few hours before we even start that!"

"What?"

"Psychic powers can be used strictly with the mind, like with your brother, but not all of us have that kind of gift. In order for espers like you and me to become strong, we need to train both our bodies and our minds."

"Are you serious?" Ritsu didn't think it was possible. Teruki Hanazawa may have just reached beyond Reigen levels of obnoxiousness.

"I'm dead serious. Even if you never use your physical strength in a battle, training your body will give your mind a sense of discipline. Now start stretching. We depart in five minutes."

"Depart?"

"Of course! We're not even close to our destination just yet."

Of course…

The stretching at least helped Ritsu wake up a little bit, but all the while he had Teru talking his ear off.

"This part is simple," instructed Teru. "Your job is to follow me to the training grounds at my exact speed. No slower."

"And I can't use my psychic powers?"

"That's right! But I won't be using mine either, so we should be pretty even. I heard you were one of the fastest in your school, Ritsu-kun."

"Yeah, I am."

"Well I am too, so this should be nothing for you!"

That should have been true. But Ritsu could sense a more sinister intention behind those words. His smile was too bright. Ritsu felt it. Underneath that innocent looking grin and those encouraging words, there was sadistic intent lying in wait. Teru was absolutely about to kick Ritsu's ass in one way or another. Ritsu could tell.

And Ritsu was absolutely right. It had been… well Ritsu wasn't entirely sure how long it had been. The sky was no longer dark, although it was still gray and foggy. But the sun had obviously risen and it had done so a while ago. It had to have been at least over an hour since they started.

At the start of the run Teru confiscated Ritsu's phone. He said something about discipline and psychological warfare and how fighting through that would help him in the long run. Or some bullshit like that. All Ritsu knew was that now he was running toward a special training place that Teru promised to bring him to. When they'd reach it, Ritsu had no idea.

Ritsu was certain now. Teru was absolutely a monster. Even with that huge backpack on his back he was still keeping up a consistent pace that was significantly faster than Ritsu's.

Ritsu's panting and wheezing must have become loud enough to reach Teru's ears, because he started yelling out more words of "encouragement."

"Come on, Ritsu! I thought you were supposed to be one of the fastest in your school!"

Ritsu thought so too, but with no clear end in sight and no way of telling how long it had been since they started, the process of running became not only physically draining, but also mentally draining. The uneven ground didn't help. They really were in the middle of nowhere. There were no roads nearby to speak of. The ground was muddy and slippery and full of roots and rocks and other things that could easily trip anyone up.

And yet Teru was doing just fine, keeping his balance and never slowing his pace. And Ritsu couldn't sense a hint of his psychic powers. Teru was doing all this with his own physical strength.

Unless , Ritsu though, Maybe he isn't.

Ritsu did have to wonder if there was a way of concealing psychic powers. Usually, any esper could know right away if another esper was using their powers to accomplish something. But there seemed to be a lot of ways to use these abilities. Ritsu wondered if he could do it. He'd just use his powers for a slight boost.

Ritsu focused his energy onto himself. All he needed was a slight speed boost, that was all. He did it subtly, as if he was just slightly nudging himself forward. And before he knew it, he found himself face first in the mud.

"Didn't I tell you not to use your psychic powers?" Teru was now jogging in place above Ritsu, looking down on him with a smirk. He was barely breaking a sweat.

"Bastard…" Ritsu coughed out, as he got up on all fours, spitting the mud out of his face.

"Did you think I wouldn't catch you?"

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Teru just laughed, and started running ahead again, forcing Ritsu to quickly try to catch up.

I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him

The rest of the run was hell. Ritsu's whole body was now damp and muddy, making his clothes a much more noticable weight. Every step was a new kind of torure. Ritsu was almost certain that Teru was just fucking with him at this point, and he was almost about to throw in the towel completely until Teru's pace started slowing down at an opening in the forrest.

"We're here!" Teru yelled back as he stopped. Ritsu ran up to Teru, about thirty seconds behind him and slouched over putting his hands on his knees practically gasping for air.

Ritsu's vision was blurry from sweat and watery eyes, but he had a pretty good idea of where "here" was. He knew something about this forrest felt familiar, and looking at the broken mossed over building, he recalled some familiar feelings of anxiety.

"This… is…" Ritsu attempted to say between gasps.

"That's right! It's the Seventh Branch! Or at least, what's left of it," confirmed Teru. "Here, we don't have to worry about holding back. This place is already destroyed."

Ritsu took a seat on the grass and was about to open his mouth to say something until Teru interrupted him.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting down?"

"Why?"

"I'm tired, asshole."

"You know it's bad for your heart to sit down right after a long run."

"Fuck off."

"Get up. Walk around the building once and come back."

Ritsu wasn't quite sure before, but now he was absolutely certain Teru was getting some kind of sick kick out of his pain. But Ritsu got up, reluctantly admitting to himself that he was the one who asked for this, and started walking. It took about fifteen minutes to walk around the whole structure, and Ritsu was starting to realize just how hungry he was. When he came back, Teru was sitting down eating a sandwich.

"Why do you get to sit down?"

"That run was nothing for me."

"Whatever," Ritsu said, about to kneel down until a force stopped him from doing so. He looked over at Teru, who was pointing a finger at him.

"Not yet," Teru said with a smirk. "Let me finish my meal. Then you can sit down and eat."

"What?"

"Stand still until I'm done. This is another part of your training."

"What does this have to do with psychic powers?"

"Are you frustrated?"

"Of course!"

"Good. Then I'm doing my job."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ten minutes."

"What?"

"Ten minutes of standing in silence until you can eat. I want you to focus on your discomfort and frustration. I want you to deeply analyze it, find out where it comes from, and focus how it feels. Psychic powers come from emotions, and I assume the frustration you're feeling is strong. That's good. Work through that, and try to understand that."

I understand perfectly why I'm frustrated , thought Ritsu. But he remained silent, and did as he was told. After all, he did ask for this. For some fucking reason.

The source of the frustration that Ritsu was feeling was definitely obvious, but thinking back, Teru wasn't entirely wrong. Frustration was one of the words he used to use to describe it. That feeling seemed to take on lots of forms whenever it grew. It would always branch off into all sorts of emotions, but the source always remained a mystery. Frustration… where was it located again? Usually, it would reside in his throat, but today it seemed to be wrapping tightly around his teeth. His teeth…

Ritsu barely noticed it before, but now that he relaxed his jaw he realized he had been clenching his teeth this whole time. Dammit, they actually really hurt! Ritsu mentally cursed at Teru, whom he decided to blame for all of this.

Ritsu was never known for being the friendliest of people, but he wasn't quite as hateful as he seemed. He certainly had people he disliked, but hate was always too strong a word to describe the way he felt towards certain people. And the truth was, that feeling would only come out when he felt the need to defend his brother. But in that moment, Ritsu felt what he could only describe as pure, simple hatred. There were no complexities to it. There were no other elements involved. Ritsu hated Teru simply because Teru was being an asshole to him.

But, for a second, Ritsu could have sworn he felt something lighten in him. It came back as soon as he thought about it, but for just a second that feeling seemed absent. Ritsu tried to focus back in on his frustration, but to his surprise, it was gone. His jaw was still sore and his teeth were still aching, but his mouth was perfectly relaxed and neutral.

"Ok," Teru interrupted, "You can eat now."

"Huh?" Ritsu was sure it hadn't been ten minutes yet.

"It's a bit early, but you were doing so well. Consider it a treat."

"Were you reading my mind?"

"Telepathy isn't my specialty. I can't read your thoughts exactly, but I was able to get a vague idea of your inner productivity."

Ritsu grunted. He wasn't in the mood to protest. He was just happy to eat. He slumped down onto the grass and started sifting through the backpack Teru left out.

"Don't eat too much of that," warned Teru, "That's gotta last us the whole trip"

"Yeah, yeah."

"When you finish up we'll start with some barrier training."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But first, I'm thinking we should try to find a good spot inside the building. With all the rubble in there, there's definitely a lot to work with. And we can go completely nuts and break whatever we want, so why not utilize that?"

Teru was grinning again, but this time, Ritsu couldn't help but smile a bit too.

Am I actually enjoying this?


	4. Bones

The hallways of what was once Claw's Seventh Branch Headquarters were now darkened and cold. Even the walls that were mostly left in tact from the wreckage were showing signs decay. The entire building felt unstable, as though it could fall apart at any moment. Ritsu wondered how his barrier would hold up against an entire building.

Teru was leading the way, using his own phone's flashlight for light. Ritsu folded his arms tighly around himself. His teeth were starting to chatter. It was still cold, and the mud on him still hadn't quite dried off. As they made their way further down the darkened hallways, Ritsu noticed a peculiar smell.

"Ugh," grunted Ritsu as he grasped his nose, "Something smells rotten."

"Yeah," replied Teru, "I think I might know what that is."

Teru turned a corner and Ritsu followed behind. This hallway was certainly not like the others. The walls and ceiling looked as though they had been melted rather than broken. In the middle of the hallway there was a mass of… something. Ritsu couldn't quite tell what it was, but he could hear the buzzing of flies coming from its direction.

Ritsu stopped and took a step back, covering his nose and mouth with his hand and held his breath. Teru's light was shining just bright enough for Ritsu to make out what seemed to be human bones, covered by some rotting flesh.

"Guess the scars never cared enough to dispose of them," said Teru, straightfaced and uncaring. "Ah, well. Let's keep moving. There's not enough light here."

Teru started walking ahead, but stopped when he noticed Ritsu was still frozen in place. He turned around to see Ritsu staring straight at him, concerned.

"Something wrong?"

"Ah," Ritsu snapped out of being frozen. "I was just… Did you, uh, do this?"

"Yeah," said Teru in a very matter-of-fact tone. "Why do you ask?"

Ritsu opened his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. Teru sighed.

"I see," said Teru. "I guess I can understand where you're coming from. I bring you all the way out here in the middle of nowhere and your friends and family don't even know where you are right now. And now that you've learned that I killed someone, I'm starting to seem rather suspicious, aren't I?"

"Well…" Ritsu started.

"It's fine. No worries. But I should remind you that Suzuki-kun's done the same as me. He did it right in front of us, remember?"

"I guess."

"Not to mention that I killed this man on the way to save you, remember? Besides, he deserved it. He was a part of an organization that kidnaps, tortures, brainwashes, and sometimes kills children. He was trying to burn me alive, so I just turned it back on him."

"Yeah, but I was just thinking," Ritsu paused. "Didn't we fight with some of the scars?"

Teru straightened his back and looked away from Ritsu as he spoke.

"They're lucky." Teru's voice turned deep and serious. In fact, this was the most serious that Ritsu had ever seen him. Teru turned his whole body around to face Ritsu straight on with an expression like stone.

"Their being spared was a privilege. None of them deserved it, if you ask me. Each of them earned themselves a lifetime in prison at the very least. But I won't question Reigen-san's decision. They'll just have to spend their whole lives atoning. Helping defeat Claw was definitely a start."

Ritsu looked back down at the body. In truth, it wasn't like he cared much about whoever those bones used to belong to. But there was something in Teru's voice that Ritsu couldn't shake. It sparked something in Ritsu; not fear, but curiosity. There was something hidden behind Teru's stone cold expression, and Ritsu could almost recognize it. It was so familiar, but Ritsu couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Let's get going," said Teru, with his smile already back. "I think the hole in the center of the building would be a nice place to practice, don't you think?"

"Ah!" Ritsu snapped out of his thoughts "Yeah, that sounds good."

"You ok? You seem a bit out of it."

"I'm fine."

"There's no need to be scared of me. You're brother would never forgive me if I let something bad happen to you."

"I'm not scared of you!"

There was silence. Teru seemed a bit taken aback by the outburst. It was the same as yesterday's.

"Sorry," Teru finally spoke out.

"It's fine." Ritsu wasn't sure how convincing he was being. It's not like he blamed Teru, but he really wasn't fine. Even Ritsu couldn't explain it.

"You know, if I'm really annoying you, you don't have to keep training with me."

"You're not annoying me."

"That's a lie."

"I said you were my only option!"

"Is fighting Suzuki really that important to you?"

"Of course!"

"You're really…" Teru started, but then sighed. "Nevermind. I'm just giving you an out if you want it."

Teru turned around and started walking. With some delay, Ritsu followed behind. He wanted to say something in response, but Teru spoke up again, with his old cheery voice returning.

"I won't judge you no matter what you do. I understand you feel like you don't have a choice, but you do have more agency than you give yourself credit for. You don't really have to do anything."

"I'm doing this because I want to."

"I really hope that's true."


	5. Hidden

"This spot seems good," said Teru, standing over the edge of a giant hole that spanned both the roof of the building and the basement floors. The place was certainly familiar to Ritsu. It was where the final battle between the Scars of the Seventh Branch took place, and it was one of several places where Ritsu found himself in yet another near-death experience.

But Teru was right about the place being perfect to train. There was plenty of rubble, pipes, wires, and other stuff to work with. There was also a nice amount of shelter from the weather. And neither of them would have to worry about the consequences of breaking things. Ritsu was starting to get excited.

"Ok," said Teru, "Here's the plan. This week we'll be focusing on the basics. That is, your barrier and your telekenesis. Today I'm going to be testing where your limits and boundaries lie. Afterwards, we'll work on pushing them to their utmost limits. Of course, we'll be using the basics all throughout this training, but next week we'll start on testing what other special abilities you may have."

"Special abilities?"

"Like how Suzuki can turn invisible and how Shimazaki can teleport. As I've gone on to fight others, I've manage to pick up an array of different psychic techniques. So far, there have been very few techniques I haven't been able to figure out through hard work. But it's different for other people. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there are things you can't do. But I'm sure you already know that."

"You're referring to my brother."

"Precisely. If that's the case, you shouldn't get hung up over it. There are ways to use your power creatively and effectively to outsmart your opponent."

"Unless that person is my brother."

"You aren't fighting your brother, Ritsu-kun."

"If you're going to bring him up you might as well be honest about that, Teru-san."

"Fine. There are some things that technique can't accomplish. But even so, your potential is greater than most, Ritsu-kun. So much so, that I think you have a chance at surpassing even me. But you're a late-bloomer so your powers havent had the time to mature. So I'm not quite sure what powers you have besides the basics. So I'll show you everything I know. Anyway, somewhere in between drills we'll make time for lunch."

"Somewhere in between?"

"We'll have lunch when we're hungry! I didn't plan out everything perfectly. Honestly I wasn't entirely sure how this would go."

"How reassuring."

"Look, I've only ever trained with the Awakening Lab kids and myself. They can't do the things you and I can do. But I'm not entirely sure how different your powers are from mine. So I'm playing it by ear. Today's gonna be mostly experimental, but it'll get more routine based later."

"Alright, I get it." Ritsu had to admit to himself that he was really getting excited to start. But god forbid he let Teru know that.

"Moving on, at the end of the day we'll spar and then head back."

"Won't I be too exhausted to win by then?"

"You wouldn't be able to win a spar against me even if you were in top shape, Ritsu-kun. At the end of the day I'll judge if you're truly ready to fight Suzuki-kun. Understand?"

Ritsu rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I guess."

"Good," said Teru. "Then lets get started."

Teru hopped down into the hole through several stories of broken floors until he reached the deepest part of the crater left by their fight. Ritsu followed shortly after, using his psychic powers to break his fall and land comfortably.

"Okay," Teru exhaled. "Stand close to the center and show me your full barrier."

Ritsu did as he was told, exherting his energy to focus on his defense, creating a near transparent bubble around his body.

"Not bad," said Teru. "We'll start with an endurance test. I'm going to increase the pressure against your barrier using telekenesis. I'll start slow and increase it little by little. Keep it up as long as you can."

"Got it."

Teru inhaled and reached out his arms in front of him, moving his knees inward into that pigeon-toed stance he always sported while fighting. Ritsu had to wonder how anyone could hold their balance while standing like that, but he wasn't about to underestimate Teru's strength. He braced himself.

"Tell me when you're ready," instructed Teru.

"I'm ready."

The ground rumbled and cracked and Ritsu immediately felt immense pressure coming from every direction. It wasn't enough to break the barrier, but it was enough to make Ritsu work to keep his barrier up. There was a familiar air to the type of technique that Teru was using.

"This is…!"

"That's right" confirmed Teru. "Gravity control. I learned it a while back, though it was hard to replicate. I still can't make black holes. But this is less dangerous. When you feel your barrier can't hold anymore just tell me and I'll release the pressure."

It was a fairly reasonable excersise. If Ritsu hadn't been so bitter about everything that led up that point, he might have expressed a bit more gratitude. The entire building was rumbling and moaning. The atmosphere was perfect.

About two minutes passed. Teru had been slowly increasing the gravity around Ritsu and both boys were starting to sweat. Ritsu was about to collapse, so he looked up at Teru and opened his mouth to speak.

And then Ritsu saw it for the first time. Teru's mouth was open and slightly moving as though he were muttering something to himself. His eyes were blank, looking at nothing in particular, and yet wide as though he had just seen his worst fear. It was an expression of an indescribable emotion. Blank horror. Though Ritsu could only gaze at it for a second.

Teru's eyes came back into focus, as if something had startled him, waking him from a trance. His fists clenched tight and he cleched his jaw down and showed his teeth. His eyebrows furrowed up as though he were in fight-or-flight mode. And the gravity increased.

Ritsu's barrier shattered, but before his body could hit the ground, he felt a force pulling him gently upward until his feet were no longer touching the ground.

"I'm so sorry!" Ritsu looked down at a tense, geuninely shaken up Teru. He gently lowered Ritsu back to the ground.

"I'm really sorry," Teru apologized again, "I spaced out. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Ritsu assured Teru, "I was about to stop it anyway."

"You aren't hurt, then?"

"I'm fine ."

Teru took a deep sigh.

"Okay," he said, back to his original cheerful demeanor, "Take a five minute rest and then we'll work on your reflexes."

Ritsu was shocked as to how quickly Teru's personality could bounce back and forth. He was starting to get the idea that maybe genuine concern for others wasn't Teru's strong-suit. Although, really, Ritsu knew he had no room to talk on that regard. There certainly was something familiar about Teru that Ritsu couldn't quite put his finger on. But he knew one thing for sure.

Teru was hiding something.

As Ritsu leaned up against a part of a wall that remained in tact, he could see Teru with his jacket unzipped. His hand was pulling on the collar of the low-cut shirt he was wearing with a tight grip. Ritsu couldn't see too well from his angle, but it looked as though he were digging his nails into the center of his breast.

Ritsu didn't want to stare, but Teru seemed to be so lost in his own world that he didn't seem to notice. He was moving his lips again. It was so slight, but Ritsu noticed. He wondered what he was saying. It certainly couldn't have been good, from the expression on his face.

An emotion indescribable.

If only for a moment, Ritsu had to wonder if Teru knew. But the moment passed. There was simply no way. He was too smiley. He was too self-centered. But even with all that said and done, there was no denying that Teru was bothered by something. Ritsu was more than a bit curious, but he didn't want to be disappointed. Considering Teru, it could be anything.

Ritsu slid down from the wall where he was standing and landed in a sitting position. He was still exhausted, but five minutes was hardly enough for a nap. He closed his eyes and listened to Teru's footsteps.

Suzuki…

That's right. That was the reason he was here. As soon as this was over, everything could go back to normal. No more bad feelings getting in the way. That was all Ritsu wanted.

"You ready?"

Ritsu jumped. He could have sworn he heard Teru's footsteps trail further away from him, but here he was, standing right in front of Ritsu. And he looked cheerier than ever. Too cheery, in fact. Wasn't he just moping a second ago?

"Uh… yeah, I guess."

"Good. We'll be working on telekenesis now."


	6. Bonds

The next drill consisted of what Ritsu could only describe as a psychic equivalent of weightlifting. He was able to lift smaller objects, and was even able to lift Teru when he wasn't resisting, although that required a significant amount of effort. But his level of skill was nowhere near Teru's.

"You were actually able to lift an entire fleet of cars by yourself?"

"I had some help from the kids from the Awakening Lab, but I really was doing most of the work. Takeuchi also helped me later. I was also running a high fever at the time so I wasn't in the best of shape."

"You were running a high fever?"

"Yes, I just said that."

"So were you also sick when we were fighting Shimazaki?"

"Yeah. It's kind of a shame. Maybe if I was in better shape I would have been able to kick his ass harder."

Ristu was speechless. Teru was just talking about this as if it were no big deal. Was that some attempt at being humble? Because it was pissing Ritsu off.

Teru walked over to the backpack he left lying on the ground and pulled out a notepad and a pen.

"What's that for?" asked Ritsu.

"Progress tracking." Teru flipped open the notepad and started writing something down. "I was going to do this initially with the barrier training, but I fucked that up."

"I told you, I was just about to tell you to stop."

"Well then I'm sure you'll do better tomorrow when I actually track your progress on that. But for now let's focus on your telekinesis."

Teru's writing eventually came to a stop, and he opened his mouth to speak once more.

"So here's the deal," started Teru. "You can lift objects as big as people, and you can blast away objects even bigger. But you can't lift anything much heavier than a fridge, you can barely move me when I'm resisting, and you can't lift yourself."

"I probably could have just told you that."

"No. It's better I see you attempt. I can at least make an estimate of how much potential you have that way."

"So what do you think?"

"I think in order to beat Suzuki-kun, you need to at least be able to lift the equivalent of a cement truck."

"A what ?"

"I'm not finished yet. Your telekinesis also needs to be able to have some sort of effect on me. You need to be able to hurt me with telekinesis. You also need to be able to lift yourself, as well as learn some techniques that travel outside the basics. And you need to be creative with how you use your basics."

"How long is this going to take?"

"I'm still not finished. You also should try and have something in your arsenal to surprise your opponent. For example; I can attack and defend simultaneously. That's a rare skill that most espers wouldn't expect. You need to have a skill like that to throw your opponent off guard."

"Are you finished now?"

"Yes."

"So how long do you think this is going to take?"

"It'll take as long as it takes, Ritsu-kun."

Ritsu had to wonder why he expected anything other than a vague answer. Teru noticed Ritsu rolling his eyes, and spoke again.

"Ritsu-kun, if there's one thing I've learned since I met your brother, it's that people are full of surprises. I want you to surprise me."

It was a lot to take in, to say the least. Teru's list of requirements was heavier than expected. And Teru seemed to have high expectations. But Ritsu was used to it. They were no higher than the expectations Ritsu put on himself. Not even close.

* * *

The rest of the training consisted on various drills designed to improve strength. Teru would throw rubble at Ritsu's barrier to see how well Ritsu could adjust his power levels appropriately on reflex. Teru would gather up large pieces of rubble and rock to make boulders for Ritsu to attempt to break. Everything was going smoothly, which was surprising considering their rocky start. Perhaps it was because there was no need for conflict between the two espers. It was simple. Teru would tell Ritsu what to do and Ritsu would do it. The exercises were productive and Ritsu had no reason to complain. This was what he asked for.

"You've been doing well so far!" said Teru as he bent down to sit next to him. For the first time, Ritsu considered responding with a "thank you," but a mouthful of tofu kept him silent. Both boys were sitting with their legs dangling off a broken ledge, but only Ritsu was eating.

"Although," Teru started again as Ritsu gulped down what was left in his mouth. "If you were hungry you really should have said something."

"I thought you'd know when a reasonable time to eat was."

"Sorry, I forgot to keep track of time."

Ritsu continued eating in silence for a few more minutes until he noticed that Teru hadn't even moved to reach for the backpack of food.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"Oh, no don't worry. I'm not hungry."

"You're not hungry?"

"Yes, what about it?"

"It's been four hours."

"Has it now?"

"Yes! You were the one who said that first!"

"Ah, sorry. I guess I'm a bit forgetful today."

Ritsu stared at Teru in silence, stunned. Ritsu knew Teru was strange, but this was weird even for him. After staring a bit, Ritsu noticed something else that was off. Teru wasn't moving. He was staring straight ahead, eyes perfectly still and unblinking. There was no sound or movement coming from him to give off the impression that he was breathing. In fact, there was no heat coming off of Teru at all. Teru suddenly started moving again when he appeared to notice Ritsu's stares.

"Is something the matter?" asked Teru.

"Ah! It's nothing!" Ritsu tried his best not to look suspicious, but he was sweating from nervousness.

"Are you sure? Is there something on my face?"

"Uh…" Ritsu genuinely could not figure out how to answer that question. There was nothing on his face. No pores. No wrinkles. Nothing.

"I'm just wondering what we're going to do next!" Ritsu hoped that was a good enough response.

"Ah, are you that excited? Then we'll start the final spar right away!"

Teru slid off the ledge and let himself fall down to the clearing at the bottom of the crater where most of their training had taken place.

"Aren't you coming?" Teru yelled up.

"Oh, right!" Ritsu nervously hopped down to Teru's level and tried his best not to focus on his body that was approaching uncanny valley territory.

"The rules are simple. Whoever can stun their opponent for ten seconds wins. Got it?"

"Y-yeah…"

"Don't be nervous, Ritsu-kun. I don't expect you to win the first time. Just try your best!"

On any normal occasion Ritsu would have been annoyed by a comment like that. Teru twisted his knees into his signature stance and counted to three before darting straight towards Ritsu. Ritsu put up his barrier and blocked Teru's first attack, which appeared to be an energy bomb. Teru hopped back as the explosion went off and Ritsu decided to lower his barrier to make his own attack. Until he heard someone speaking right behind him.

"I'm disappointed in you, Ritsu-kun." The voice was so close Ritsu could feel it breathing down his neck. But before he could turn around and react to it he felt something wrap tightly around his body.

"What-?!" Ritsu felt himself being swept off his feet. His arms were now fully secured to his sides, completely restraining him. Looking down, he saw that the thing tying him up was what appeared to be a rope of yellow psychic energy. Following it down he could see Teru connected to it a few feet below him next to… another Teru?

"Three seconds," said one of the Terus. Ritsu was so dizzy he couldn't really tell which one it was..

"How-"

"It took me three seconds to beat you. And I only needed to lift a finger. But that's not why I'm disappointed in you."

Ritsu struggled against the bind to get a better view of his now duplicated opponent. There certainly were two Terus standing on the ground, both with stern looks on their faces. One of them was holding his finger up where the energy connected to. Ritsu had a good idea of what was going on.

"You cloned yourself?"

The second Teru suddenly vanished into thin air, answering Ritsu's question.

"Ritsu-kun, do you know how long you've been training with that clone?"

Ritsu stopped struggling and froze, stunned. Suddenly everything made perfect sense.

"Since lunch, right?" answered Ritsu.

"Wrong. You've been training with that clone since we started telekinesis training."

"Eh?!" Ritsu couldn't believe his ears. Teru had to be joking.

"So you didn't even notice that anything was wrong until lunch."

"Wait a second! You can't be serious!"

"I was even trying to make it easy for you, you know. I made sure my footsteps were loud so you could hear me walk in the other direction, and then silently sent the clone right next to you. Did you not notice that?"

"Ah!" Ritsu remembered, "I did! But I-"

"But nothing. You did nothing. You said nothing. You know for someone who outright told me that you don't trust me, you sure do trust me a lot."

"But why did you-"

"Ritsu-kun, why didn't you say anything during lunch?"

"I don't know! What was I supposed to even say? 'Hey Teru-san, I noticed you don't have a heartbeat. What's up with that?'"

"Would have been better than nothing."

"Oh, just shut up and let me down! You win, okay?"

"Are you telling me that you want me to free you?"

"Yes!"

"Did you also want to have lunch an hour ago?"

"Huh?"

"Listen up, Ritsu-kun. This is a lesson. I can let you go, but I can't free you. You need to do that yourself."

Teru brought Ritsu back down to the ground and released him.

"Alright," said Teru in a much more upbeat voice. "You failed your first test, but that's ok. Failure is the best teacher. I've learned that from experience."

"You mean when my brother kicked your ass?"

"Anyway," said Teru, ignoring Ritsu's comment. "Do some stretches and we'll run back to the bus stop. Same time tomorrow. Weekends off. Got it?"

"Got it."

It was going to be a long break.

* * *

"Ah, welcome back Ritsu!"

Had it been a few months ago, Ritsu would have been happy to see his brother relaxing on the couch. He would have returned his warm smile and offered to play video games with him. But that was back before all this.

It was growing up his throat now. What was it? Ritsu was too tired to even contemplate it.

"Hey, Nii-san."

"You look exhausted. You were out with Suzuki-kun all day though, so I don't blame you."

"Um, yeah. I, uh, learned a lot from him."

"I'm sure you'll get better! You can do anything you put your mind to!"

"Yep. Thanks."

Ritsu hurried up to his room and shut the door quickly behind him and crashed on top of his bed. Everything hurt. And yet, there was something nice about the pain. Maybe it was because physical pain was always easier for Ritsu to handle. He was no stranger to it at this point.

A knock on the door violently pulled Ritsu out of his thoughts as he flinched at the sound of it.

"C-come in!" He sputtered out. And in came a concerned-looking Mob with wide eyes and a gentle air.

"Ritsu, are you okay?"

"Ah, I'm fine! Don't worry about me, Nii-san." Ritsu gave the best smile he could muster, hoping his brother would believe him. But Mob's expression did not change.

"You've just been acting strange…" Mob's quiet voice trailed off, as though he were thinking of what to say next. But when he finally spoke, the words that came out of his mouth were the worst possible words Ritsu could have ever expected.

"Am I bothering you?"

Ritsu clenched the sheets of his bed as his chest turned bright red. Ritsu could feel it. That feeling. It grew out past Ritsu's throat and wrapped itself firmly around his tounge. It begged for attention and dug its roots deep below his stomach and through his intestines. Ritsu's body was running out of room to hold something this violent.

"No! Not at all!" said Ritsu with the most forced smile imaginable. "You've done nothing wrong! I'm just tired from hanging out with Te-uh, Suzuki, is all! I'm fine though!"

Mob stood silent for a bit, but then smiled.

"Okay Ritsu. I trust you. But just remember you can always trust me too! If you ever need to talk I'm here."

And with that, he left, closing the door behind him. And Ritsu was left shaken, gagged by his own emotions manifesting his every orifice. Everything hurt, inside and out. His body was sore. His body was full of thorns. Ritsu did not breathe when Mob left. He did not move.

Ritsu skipped dinner that night.

* * *

Teru walked up the steps to his apartment. It had been a long day and he was actually getting pretty hungry. But as he turned the corner at the top of the steps he saw an unexpected, yet familiar face walking down the hall. She was a tall, middle-aged woman with dark hair. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw Teru, and he was greeted with a wave and a warm smile.

Her name was Midori, and she was the landlady. She was also Teru's aunt. Teru was immediately filled with dread.

"There you are, Teru-chan!"

"Ah, hello Aunt Midori. What are you doing here? Did someone skip out on paying rent?"

"Oh, it's nothing like that! I was just trying to check up on you, but you were out. I see you're wearing a tracksuit! Were you exercising?"

"Uh, yeah. Something like that. Ah-!" Midori grabbed onto Teru's arm and started squeezing it.

"Wow! Your muscles have grown so big, Teru-chan!"

"H-hey!" Teru pulled her hands off of him.

"Oh, sorry! I should have asked first. But really, don't you think you're making it a bit unfair for the rest of your classmates? They must be so jealous of you for having magic powers and huge muscles!"

"They aren't magic powers, Aunt Midori. We've been over this."

"Eh, I don't know. Being able to lift things with your mind seems pretty magical to me. So how have you been?"

What a loaded question.

"Uh, alright I guess."

"What about your girlfriend?"

Teru was clenching his fists so hard he could feel the pain of his nails digging into his palm.

"She's been busy lately so I haven't seen her much. But we're still dating!"

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

"I'm glad to hear it! You should bring her over soon so I can see her!"

Teru reached his hand up to his chest to unzip his tracksuit. His shirt was damp. His forehead was going red. The air around him felt like it was on fire. He had to change the subject.

"So why were you checking up on me?"

"Oh yeah, that! Well your parents have been worried about you. You haven't been answering phone lately. I tell them that you're fine, but they'd really like to see you!"

Teru put on the calmest most casual smile he could muster.

"Oh, I'll give them a call soon!"

"You know, you are on break. Why don't you go and visit them?"

"Well, I actually have plans with a friend so I can't exactly leave."

"Oh? What kind of plans?"

"Oh, you know. Personal plans."

"Well if you have time, you should really consider it!"

"Yeah, I will. Don't worry."

Midori's smile quickly faded and she began looking at Teru with concerned eyes.

"Teruki…" she said, "It's been three months."

Teru's heart began to race as his head went light.

"E-eh?"

"You haven't answered their calls in three months. They're worried about you, Teruki. I'm worried about you."

"Ah w-well," stuttered Teru as he clasped his hands together, trying to avoid eye contact. "I've just been forgetful lately! That's all!"

"She was crying you know."

Teru went pale. His chest was on fire.

"Your mother," started Midori, "She would give you the stars if she could. She loves you so much. But these are very important years of your life, and she's missing them. Please, Teruki. I hate seeing my little sister like this."

Teru's forehead went numb. Everything under his tracksuit was burning.

"I…" Teru had to say something. Anything. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I'm sorry too. If you ever need anyone to talk to, you know where to find me!"

Midori waved goodbye and walked down the stairs. And for a minute, Teru forgot how to breathe. He forgot how to move.

Teru lost his appetite.


	7. Equals

"Oh, you're a bit early," said Teru as Ritsu approached bus stop bench he was sitting on. "There's still twenty minutes before the bus arrives."

"How long have you been waiting here?"

"About ten minutes."

"Then you're earlier than me."

That seemed to shut Teru up, and Ritsu took a great satisfaction in that. But it was no accident that Ritsu showed up early. He was anxious to get started again.

And so, it became a routine. The early run, the training, the spar, and the random tests would soon all become just another part of Ritsu's day. And as Teru continued in making notes on Ritsu's improvement, Ritsu had been making some mental notes of his own.

The worst part of the day was always the mornings. Even if Ritsu was always looking forward to the training, no amount of excitement could help him keep his eyes open on the early bus ride. And Ritsu couldn't tell what was worse; the torture of trying to stay awake on the bus, or having to witness Teru's awful shit eating grin after getting soaked with water.

The run was no better. Ritsu was absolutely certain that Teru took some sort of sick pleasure at seeing Ritsu struggle to keep up behind him through the mud. Teru insisted that wasn't the case, but Ritsu could always see a hint of a smirk from the corner of his mouth as he trailed behind.

But after the run was over, the real training would start. And Ritsu certainly enjoyed this part more. Despite how irritating Teru could be, he certainly had a lot of wisdom and talent. He was a complete natural, and one of the strongest espers that Ritsu had ever met. And, as far as Ritsu could tell, Teru had not even reached his limits. There seemed to still be room for him to grow. Ritsu was certain and adult Teru would be a force to be reckoned with.

He was a monster. Ritsu was certain about that. But a monster was exactly what Ritsu needed.

There was so much to learn, and so little time. So Teru worked Ritsu as hard as he could. The first week consisted of mostly fighting techniques that mixed regular fighting and martial arts with psychic abilities to enhance his performance. It was by far the most physically grueling week. Each morning, getting out of bed became harder and harder, and keeping up with Teru's pace for the morning runs became more and more challenging. By the time Friday came around, Ritsu was certain he had felt less pain when Koyama smashed his face into hard concrete.

And Teru was enjoying every second of it. Ritsu could tell. But for some reason Ritsu would always show up the next morning, tired and in pain. And Teru would always be there at the bus stop, smiling bright at the crack of dawn. He almost never showed any weakness.

Almost.

Ritsu had originally started training with Teru to fix a problem within himself. He believed that beating Shou in a fight would give him the peace he needed. But after the end of the first week, he was getting antsy. There was another thing on his mind, keeping him awake at night.

In an unexpected development, Ritsu had become fixated on Teru. He just couldn't get the boy off of his mind. As he opened his diary, he found himself unable to write about anything else. It was full of notes on his personality, his habits, his expressions, his emotions…

It wasn't like Ritsu enjoyed Teru as a person. If anything, Ritsu hated the guy. He really wasn't a good person. Sure, he could pretend to be caring and compassionate with his warm smile and his soft-spoken voice, but after spending enough time with him anyone could see that underneath all that, Teru had a nasty personality. He seemed to be constantly asserting himself as a superior person with his words and actions. But he wasn't just satisfied with being seen as superior. He also had to make others feel inferior. Ritsu noticed this during the spars. There was no way in hell that Teru didn't enjoy humiliating his opponents. Whether it be dangling Ritsu upside-down by his foot with an air whip or bringing him to his knees with nothing but pure psychokinesis, Teru's smile was always brightest when Ritsu's frustration was most apparent.

But then there were moments where he showed weakness. Sometimes, as Teru walked around, he would stop dead in his tracks, stiff and frozen with a thousand yard stare. Other times he would mutter under his breath, moving his lips in a repetitive motion as though reliving a moment in time. Ritsu didn't mention it, but his curiosity was growing. It was as if Teru were holding something back. It was as though the smile he wore was nothing but a mask; an armor to protect something more fragile and delicate. And there were obvious cracks in it. That was the only explanation Ritsu had for why so much about Teru felt fake. Performative. It was as though he were in front of a crowd, trying to please an audience. And Ritsu was more annoyed by that than anything else. But maybe that was why Teru was so fascinating to him. Ultimately, those moments of tensing and freezing up, those moments of anger and guilt…

They were glimpses of the real Teru. And it was the real Teru that Ritsu wanted to see.

Ritsu leaned over to gaze at his clock. It was two in the morning on a Monday. He couldn't believe he had stayed awake all night thinking about Teru of all people. And soon he'd be seeing him again after two long days. That thought alone was keeping Ritsu from sleep. He needed to pass the time. Out of habit, he reached over to pick up his phone, and immediately regretted the decision when he saw the bright notification on the lock screen signifying a missed call.

From Suzuki.

Ritsu's voicemail box was probably getting full by now. But he didn't have the strength to listen to any of them. He put his phone back on his desk, turned his body face down and sighed into his pillow. He just wasn't sure anymore. It wasn't like Shou did anything wrong. He was a good person. A bit blunt and egotistical, but his heart was always in the right place. Ritsu used to always be happier in his company. He could relate to Shou. They were friends. They were equals.

So why did that have to change?

* * *

"Ritsu, it's three in the morning," said Teru, sitting on the bus stop bench with a half-eaten banana in his hand.

"You're here too, though."

"I guess I could change the time, but you should really try to get a better sleep. We'll take the earlier bus this time."

Ritsu could have commented on the fact that Teru was also sacrificing sleep for this, but he remained silent. It didn't matter. Despite everything about Teru, Ritsu did feel much more comfortable in his presence. He had no idea if he loved him or hated him, but simply being around him offered Ritsu a moment of relief. Teru had a way of presenting himself that could make anyone else feel inferior. And yet, Ritsu never felt that way around him. Perhaps it was because of his moments of freezing up. Or perhaps it was because he had an ugly personality.

Or maybe they really were equals.


	8. Fool

What happens next?

It's a question that begs answering. Ritsu Kageyama technically had everything he wanted. He had good grades. He was popular. His relationship with his brother was closer than ever. He even had the psychic powers he had long dreamed of. And to top it all off, he had a new best friend.

His name was Shou Suzuki. He was a thirteen year old esper, and a powerful one at that. Energetic, typically upbeat, and highly protective of the ones he loved, Shou was everything Ritsu could have ever asked for in a friend. So when he revealed that he would be attending Salt Middle School as a second year, Ritsu was beyond excited.

Well, he sucked at showing it, but it was the truth! Which was why Ritsu brought up studying sessions as soon as it was mentioned. Shou was certainly strong, but he lacked book smarts. Ritsu could only assume whatever educational system Claw had must have sucked. Not surprising. It started two weeks before the end of Ritsu's first year of middle school Ritsu had started going over to Shou's mother's house, and they exchanged skills. Ritsu needed to help Shou catch up so he wouldn't fail on his first day of classes. And Shou wanted to help Ritsu reach his full potential as an esper. And both of them wanted an excuse to spend more time together.

And it should have stayed that way. It should have stayed that way.

Ritsu was a fool.

* * *

"Ritsu, this is boring!" Shou whined.

"It's really not."

"How do you not find this boring? It's math, Ritsu! The worst subject!"

"You just think it's the worst subject because you refuse to understand it. You're just panicking at the sight of numbers."

"I'm not panicking! And I don't understand it because it's hard!"

"Here," Ritsu cleared the desk and grabbed a new blank sheet of paper and wrote down the math problem from the text book on it. "Look at this problem. What do you see?"

"A bunch of nonsense numbers and letters."

"Exactly. That's what your version of 'math' looks like. So just pretend for a second that this isn't math and start thinking of it as a puzzle."

"A puzzle?"

"That's what every math problem is. It's about finding creative and quick solutions to a problem. And every puzzle has a set of rules and boundaries that you need to follow. Here, look."

Ritsu started circling letters and numbers on the paper and stated each of their rules.

"So if we know what Y equals, we have to adjust X in order to match it. And the result is the coordinates you need to create the line. So if you know that, then can you draw the line using simple math?"

Ritsu handed Shou the pencil. Shou was hesitant at first, but he took the pencil and started writing. It took a while, but eventually Shou managed to draw a messy, yet accurate line across the grid Ritsu had mapped out for him.

"Is that...right?"

"Yes! You did it!"

"Ah! So it's that simple?"

"No, it gets much harder."

"Dammit!" Shou threw his head onto the table.

"Well everything gets more complicated. There are some times when equations like these become illogical. But even then, there are ways to solve them."

"How can they get so complicated while following such a rigid set of rules?"

"Rules make things more complicated. If there were no rules, there wouldnt be any complications. You could just do whatever you want. You could say two plus two equals seven and you'd be right."

Shou snickered and pushed his chair away as he got up.

"Okay!" he said. "I'm officially done with math!"

"You just graphed a straight line."

"And I'm done! Let's train now, Ritsu."

"You really need to focus more, Suzuki. In school you can't just get up and do whatever you want whenever you want."

"I'm not in school yet, though!"

Ritsu sighed and stood up. He wasn't in the mood to argue with a brick wall. Although his stubbornness had a certain charm to it. There was a sense of innocence to it.

Innocence.

What an odd word. What defines innocence, exactly?

...

Ritsu was a fool.

* * *

"Hey. Wake up."

Those were the first words Ritsu heard when he regained his consciousness. Why was he unconscious in the first place? Ritsu tried to remember as he slowly opened his eyes and tried to get used to the light.

What day was it again? Thursday. Teru had been trying to show Ritsu different psychic techniques throughout the training. But the first day started off poorly.

* * *

"You almost pulled it off, so I know you have the ability."

"That's all I can do, though."

"If you think that, then nothings going to change."

Nothing ever changes.

* * *

It only got worse as the days went by.

"If you're scared, you'll never beat him! You'll never improve!"

"This is all I can do!"

"Then that's all you ever will do!"

Teru turned around and picked up the backpack. That was… yesterday? Maybe. Ritsu hadn't been sleeping much, so all the days were blurring together.

But for some reason, Ritsu found himself unable to make the next big step in his improvement. It was as though something was tying him down every time he tried something new. It wrapped itself tightly around his heart, making Ritsu unable to move. Struggling only made it grow, and wrap itself tighter. It was suffocating. It was in his throat again.

No wonder Teru had been getting more and more pissed off. The first week was fine. Why was this week going so poorly?

"Maybe you should invite your brother over for the training as well. I'm sure he'd support you."

Ritsu remembered those words that Teru had uttered on the bus that Monday morning. He remembered the way they pierced his chest like a sword. What was he feeling in that moment, exactly? Guilt? Well, guilt was certainly a part of it. But there was another feeling as well. Was it envy? Maybe. But that feeling was too familiar. If it were envy, Ritsu could recognize the emotion right away. But envy wasn't far off from the truth. It was something close.

Jealousy.

That was the conclusion that he had come to. Jealousy had always been a bit different than envy, to Ritsu. Envy is internal. It focuses on what you don't have, and it eats away at you. It compares you to others. Jealousy is external. It focuses on what others have, and it compares others to you. The difference between the two is so subtle, only one who has experience with both could truly understand.

And Ritsu knew envy like an old friend. And he knew that this wasn't quite envy. But why jealousy? What was he jealous of? His brother's power? No, that wasn't it.

Was it Teru?

* * *

Ritsu rose up onto his feet so fast he nearly found himself blacking out again.

"Hey, don't pass out again," said Teru, although there was more annoyance in his voice than there was concern. As Ritsu's vision cleared up, he found himself standing beside the bus stop bench by the forrest. Teru was sitting on the edge of the bench. The sun was low in the sky, though it wasn't yet setting.

"Are we…?" Ritsu started while grabbing his head.

"Yeah. We're done for today."

"What happened?"

"It was my bad. I overestimated you, is all. Sorry."

How passive-agressive. Though that was nothing new as of this week. Ritsu wanted to respond but Teru started again.

"I didn't expect you to win the spar, but I also didn't expect my attack to knock you out. It would have been easy to block if you would move outside your comfort zone once in a while, but I suppose I was wrong about you."

Ritsu wanted to speak, but he had nothing to say. This was the first time he had seen Teru so pissed off and serious. It would have been less frightening if he was actually trying to kill him.

"Ritsu, tell me," said Teru, "Why are you really doing this?"

"I already told you."

"You'll never beat him."

"What?"

"I wanted you to surprise me, but so far this has been a waste of time. You can technically become stronger, but every time you improve on something you panic and go back into your comfort zone. It's predictable. You're predictable. You act like you don't have any emotions but I can see them clear as day on your face. I'm not here to fix you, Ritsu, I'm here to train you. If you want to be fixed get a goddamn therapist."

"H-hey! Wh-" Ritsu was interrupted by the sound of the bus stopping at the bench. Teru stood up and forced something into his hand.

"This is the money for the bus ride back. This bus will take you closer to your house so you don't have to walk too far back. I'm taking the next one. Tomorrow you either show up ready to train or don't show up at all. Bye."

And with that, Teru shoved Ritsu forward onto the bus.

* * *

Mob's parents were out seeing some friends, so Mob was left home alone. He was just watching TV when he heard the doorbell ring.

"Coming!" he called out as he walked over to the door. But when he opened it, he was surprised to see a familiar boy with red spikey hair standing in the doorway.

"S-Suzuki?!"

"Ah, you're Ritsu's brother!" said Shou with an uncharacteristically nervous voice. "Is he home? I really need to talk to him."

"Ritsu…" Mob's stomach sank. "He said he was hanging out with you."

"What?"


	9. Shame

There were multiple reasons as to why Teru sent Ritsu off on a bus by himself. The first was that they had missed the one that took them back to their usual stop. The second was that this bus would be more convenient for Ritsu considering he had just woken up from being knocked out. It would be better if he didn't have to walk too far.

The third was that Teru could not stand being around Ritsu right now. He knew it was irrational, but it was starting to get worse. There was something about him that had been irritating him since the moment he knocked on his door, but this week he was really bringing out the worst in Teru. Maybe it was because he was so obvious. Honestly, the whole act of never showing his emotions only made him that much easier to read. It was like the more he closed himself off, the more he opened up. It was painful to watch.

Everything about Ritsu was becoming painful to watch. Teru knew better than him. He was better than him. He was better, better, better. And just watching him, just looking at him, just thinking about him was enough to cause Teru to start grinding his teeth.

But what worried Teru more than anything was how addicting Ritsu was. The kid was practically giving him permission to beat him up. And the offer was so tempting each time. Why, though? What did he do wrong, exactly? It was so irrational. Teru hated watching himself as he sunk, becoming crueler and giving into desire. But emotions like anger and hatred can be so fun to play with when you are the one in power.

Dammit! Teru gave him an out! He didn't have to be here! He didn't have to be doing this! He didn't have to come back! Or was it already too late? Did he damage him permanently? What was so important about that Suzuki kid anyway?

Remembering back, Teru thought about why he decided to train Ritsu.

Curiosity.

He wanted to know if it was possible to accomplish what Ritsu was trying to accomplish. And he knew exactly what Ritsu was trying to accomplish, and it wasn't to kick Suzuki's ass. No, it was never about that in the first place.

Teru had to know what would happen after that. But he had come to the conclusion that he would never find out. So Teru truly had no reason to consider even bothering with this nonsense. It was when he knocked Ritsu out that he had realized this.

Fine. Whatever. He'd do it the hard way.

...

What an impulsive thing to think. Now that Teru was on the train, he certainly had regrets. And this was the fourth reason why Teru sent Ritsu on a bus without him. But it really was a descision made in the heat of the moment. Just like all the other times he had tried this. Dammit, why was he always so indecisive? The first time he made it as far as the train station before turning around. The second time, he had to get off the train early to throw up. The third time…

...He was right there. He was right there. But the terrifying train doors sliding open like the gates of Hell, the tedious train ride that spun Teru into sickness… None of it even remotely compared. It was only a few meters of front lawn. But Teru might has well have been walking barefoot across a sea of broken glass. He couldn't even take the first step.

It wouldn't be much different this time. Teru knew it. And every time the train stopped he had to resist the urge to gasp for air with all of his might. The entire train was spinning again. Teru watched his reflection on the other window as it was illuminated by the train's light. It was splitting. It was getting blurrier and blurrier. But he could still see it's eyes piercing into his own soul. The worst thing about reflections is that you can never look at them without making eye contact. Teru was certain that even when he looked away, his reflection was still there, looking at him with stern eyes.

The train stopped again. Teru was suffocating. Why was he doing this to himself again? He'd just fail! That was all that would come of this! Dammit, this was all Ritsu's fault. Teru's head was getting lighter. He needed air. The doors closed. And so, the cycle continues. Teru hated all of this. What was the point? He was fine! This was fine! He just didn't need anybody! Everything was okay! He was smiling and he had lots of friends and wonderful grades and he was a better person now so everything should be fine!

God fucking dammit why isn't everything fine?!

Teru hadn't noticed how much his body had contorted inward with his right arm wrapped around both his knees covering his face. At least, he didn't notice until he began to taste blood on his left thumb.

And then the horrible sound of the phone interrupted the two seconds of silence Teru's mind allowed him so he could stare at the bite mark. Teru could feel his heart racing in his ears as he fumbled with his cell phone, but to his surprise, it was…

"Kageyama-kun…?"

* * *

Ritsu opened the door, expecting the usual.

Like the fool he was. As if anything could ever be normal for him. As if he could ever go a single day without fucking something up.

"I'm home," called out Ritsu as though on autopilot. He took off his shoes and entered the living room, expecting to see Mob by the TV. And there he was, sitting on the couch, right next to…

"S-Suzuki?!"

It was at that moment that Ritsu realized he was in deep shit.

"Ritsu!" Mob's voice did not sound angry, but concerned as he cried out his brother's name. As he said it, he stood up and rushed towards him stopping about a foot in front of him with arms held out genly in front of him. God, everything about Mob was so gentle. There wasn't a hint of anger or frustration on his face. Ritsu looked over at Shou as they briefly made eye contact, but shou quickly turned his gaze to the floor. Was he angry, at least? No, the expression on his face could only be described as depressing.

Ritsu could feel it growing again.. By now, it had already occupied all the space in his stomach and was threatening to come up through his esophagus. Despite Ritsu's desperate attempts to keep it down, it would not stop growing. And there was just no longer enough space inside Ritsu's body to hold it in anymore. It was going to come out.

If Ritsu didn't stop this, it would come out again.

"Ritsu," Mob started again, with a gentle compassionate voice. Ritsu felt like he was going to be sick. "Why did you lie?"

Great. Fucking. Question.

"Suzuki-kun says he had been trying to call you for almost a month now, but you wouldn't pick up."

* * *

"Don't tell me you're comparing yourself to your brother again. I told you, you already have so much poten-"

"Don't bring him into this!"

* * *

Ritsu couldn't breathe. His lungs were reaching maximum capacity. It was starting to wrap itself around his tongue.

"Please, Ritsu. Be honest with us. We're both worried about you."

* * *

"I-I'm sorry, Suzuki. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine! It didn't hurt…"

* * *

"If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here."

* * *

"I can't come today."

"You haven't been coming at all. Is something wrong?"

"..."

"Ritsu…?"

"I think we should just stop with the study-training sessions."

"Why? I told you, Ritsu, I'm fine."

"..."

"Ritsu, did I do something wrong?"

"No… It's just-"

"Look, I'm sorry I brought up your brother, but-"

"Suzuki, let's just talk about this some other time okay? You listened to your mother better when she was tutoring you anyway, so you'll just do better that way. And I can train on my own. And we can still see each other so it's okay!"

"I'm just a bit worried…"

"Well, stop worrying! Look, I'll talk to you about this another time, so just forget it alright?"

"But-"

"I've gotta go, but I'll call you later. Bye."

"Wait! Rits-"

* * *

It's too late.

"Just tell us what's wrong-"

"Tell you?"

It was then that Ritsu realized how powerful a weapon his tongue could be, as his words caused the room to go so silent you could hear a pin drop. Even Shou was looking up in surprise. If Ritsu could control himself, he would have stopped talking. But that feeling had a death grip on his jaw. He could no longer wriggle free. It was spilling outside of his body. It was coming for them.

"You expect me to just tell you what's wrong? You really think our relationship is even remotely like that?"

"I-I'm sorry!"

"Shut up!" Ritsu had no idea who those words were directed towards anymore. "Just shut up! Stop making me feel guilty about what I feel! You're just doing it again! You're making this all about you!"

"Ritsu-"

"No. I've had enough. I'm so tired of you thinking you can just do what I've done for all these years when I've spent most of my fucking childhood trying to spare your feelings!"

Mob went silent, and Ritsu regretted every single word that came out of his mouth. But it was too late to take anything back, and much too late to stop.

"Hey," said Shou, suddenly. "Cut that out."

"So you're finally speaking?"

"Oh, shut up! I could say the exact same thing to you!"

Ritsu knew that, which was why he had no idea why he blurted that out. It really was a stupid thing to say, much like every other word that left his mouth. It was all stupid. All of it was so, so stupid. It felt as though every thought on his mind was leaking out into the world and attacking the nearest victims. But Shou got up, pushed Mob aside, and grabbed Ritsu's collar with one hand, pulling his head down closer to his.

"Listen. I still don't know what I did wrong. But fine. You don't have to tell me. You don't have to do anything! If you want, we don't even have to be friends."

"That's-"

"Let me finish! You don't have to do anything but don't act like we aren't involved in this! I haven't spoken to you in a month Ritsu! You havent answered any of your calls! If I did something wrong, then tell me ! Tell me so I can fix it!"

"YOU CAN'T FIX EVERYTHING!"

The room went silent, as if Mob and Shou were holding their breaths. Shou let go, and looked back at Ritsu with shock. Ritsu could hear his own heartbeat in his head.

I didn't want to admit it...

"You can't…"

But I knew it all along...

"You can't fix me."

It was now wrapped around him, covering him inside and out. It was different than the feeling he felt when he first discovered his powers. It's thorns pierced so sharply that he couldn't focus on anything else. Even after trying so hard, dedicating himself to being happy and healing, Ritsu had utterly failed to change. Perhaps living happily was something that he could never accomplish. Ritsu stopped putting up a fight. It was all useless. Everything was useless. And he knew this feeling well. He had known it all along. And now that he had resigned to it, he was able to give it a name.

Shame.


	10. A Kiss With a Fist is Better Than None

"You can't fix me."

Those four words spoken so softly had a violent effect on Ritsu. Something was different. Something was changing again. And Ritsu was getting so tired of resisting it. He had practically given in. But even after giving into the all encompassing feeling of shame, the pain did not go away.

However, the atmosphere of the room changed. Shou's look had turned from stern to concerned. Great. Just fucking perfect.

"Ritsu, you aren't-"

"Just…" Ritsu knew what Shou was going to say, but he couldn't bear to hear it. "Just leave me alone."

Shou furrowed his brow, lifted his hand, and before Ritsu knew it, he felt a sudden stinging pain across his left cheek followed by a sharp, "slap!" And for a second, Ritsu was completely stunned again.

"There," said Shou, "We're even now."

"W-What?" Ritsu stammered while lifting his hand upt to the red mark on his cheek.

"It's fine. I got you back, so we're even." As Shou spoke he made no eye contact, and walked past Ritsu toward the front door. He stopped just short of the shoe rack before lifting his hands up and covering the back of his neck, stretching his elbows wide.

"Man," he continued, "That felt nice." Shou turned around to face Ritsu once more. He posed casually, but something felt off. Something felt… forced.

Ritsu didn't like where this was going.

"Ritsu," said Shou calmly, "We can talk about this later. Whenever you're ready I'll be here, okay? But don't lie to me, and don't lie to your brother. We're involved in this whether you like it or not."

And with that, he left. But not before pausing for a second while holding the doorknob, sighing just loud enough for Ritsu to hear the pain in his breath. He had never hated himself as much as he did in that moment.

"Ritsu-" Mob started after the door closed, but Ritsu was already on his way upstairs to his room. He couldn't stay here. He couldn't be here much longer. He had to get out. Get out. Get out get out get out get out GET OUT!

Ritsu shut the door behind him, and immediately grabbed everything useful in his sight. A flashlight. Some blankets. Leftover sweets. His wallet. A change of clothes. And…

His phone…

With everything that happened today, it wasn't like Ritsu was ignorant of how Shou felt. Still, perhaps out of pure masochism, Ritsu found himself on his bed next to a backpack full of things scrolling down to the first message from Shou.

"Yo, Ritsu! You said we'd talk again, but it's been almost a week. Are you doing okay? We don't have to talk about what happened if you don't want to. We can just forget about it, if that's what you want! Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie? My mom said she'd pay for tickets, and we can try and sneak in some snacks while we're there! Let's plan to do something this weekend, okay?"

"Hey, Ritsu. Did you get my last message? Maybe you saw it and forgot to check it… I don't want to assume. You're probably really popular at school, huh? Got lots of friends… I get it. That's just how it is sometimes! But… I just want to make sure. Call me back soon!"

"Ritsu, I've called you a few other times. You really aren't picking up, huh… Ritsu, please… did I do something wrong? If I did, you have to tell me!"

"Suzuki…"

"Ritsu, if you're mad at me, then just tell me! You don't have to keep being friends with me, but at least tell me why! I don't understand! Why are you doing this? I'm sorry about whatever I did, but this is taking it too far! I just… I don't understand… I don't understand…"

"Please…"

Ritsu couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks as he clenched his phone tightly in his hands. With shaking fingers, he turned his phone off and sunk his face into his hands, letting out a couple of sobs.

"Please… please just hate me…"

That was all he could say. That was all he could think. It would just be so much easier if they all just hated him. And as Ritsu thought that, he came to a realization. There was only one other option left. There was only one place left to go.

He knew what he had to do.

* * *

Teru should have been happy. He should have been happy. Nothing was wrong. It had been a perfect school year. No, a perfect life. A blessed life. Yes. He was blessed. Born into wealth with a mother and father who loved him very much. Who held him when he cried and comforted him when he was bullied. Who supported him when he awakened his powers and let him stay at an appartment when his father had to move away for work just so he didn't have to switch schools. Teru was popular in school. Even after the incident with "White T Poison" Teru was still well respected and a frequent target of anonymous love letters from girls. Teru even had friends outside of school. Several. Of course there was Kageyama and his kind forgiving soul, but there were also the entire Awakening Lab, Reigen, and even some of the Scars from the 7th branch who kept in contact with Teru even after the Claw incident.

After defeating Claw and dealing with that Divine Tree nonsense, Teru was, in a sense, free. There was no longer anything to fight against. There was only school, and school was easy. Maybe that's why things had gone south. Perhaps he had always been more comfortable in chaos and fear.

When did it start exactly? Three, maybe four months ago. Teru wasn't really keeping track of time. After all when it started, it didn't appear to be anything significant. Perhaps it was just a bad day. A bad week. A bad month…

No. It started with a lie.

It always started with a lie. The lies he'd tell to his family, his loved ones, and the ones who loved him. And the lies he'd tell to himself. Teru was convinced that he was fine until that day.

Grocery shopping. It was a normal chore on a normal day, after spending another Christmas with his parents, in which he lied to them, and played the part so convincingly that he believed it himself. So the whiplash of switching from one life to another was starting to get to Teru. Oh well. It was normal.

And so are bad memories. Bad memories are normal. Nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has things they'd like to forget. It was only a flash. A familiar image of a girl and the phrase, "I love you." Teru froze in his tracks and his breath cut short, his neck turning bright red with bags of groceries in both hands

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!

Teru forced himself to exhale and he marched forward, swearing at the thought until he could ignore it. And that should have been it. Just a bad memory. One single bad memory. So teru went home and tried to unpack his groceries. An image flashed again in his mind. Faceless, nameless people. Gang members who he hadn't bothered to remember the names of.

"I am the protagonist of this world."

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

The swearing seemed to scare it away once again, but Teru was left feeling as though everything below his brow was on fire. He moved away from the spot he was standing in. Just standing still in a single area seemed to heat up the surrounding air. To think he was sweating in an unheated room while winter was still on it's last legs. Teru finished unloading his groceries and decided to wash away the dirty feeling in the bathtub.

Teru opened the door to his bathroom, and walked through it. As he passed by the sink to turn on the water in the tub, he caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. He was starting to get used to it. The new hairstyle. It actually looked really nice now that it was his real hair. He took off his shirt and glimpsed again at what was reflected through the glass. It was a different body than the one he had months ago. It was stronger. Still scarred from battles. Yeah, this person in the mirror was completely different from the person he was several months ago. But Teru could tell that it was still him. His eyes were still the same blue he'd always known.

He inched closer to the mirror, looking closer into his own eye. In it, he could see another, more shadowy and distorted reflection of himself. It was barely there, and if it weren't for the bathrom light he probably would not have been able to see it. But it was certainly him.

Teru filled the tub and slowly let himself in. He always liked the bathtub. It seemed that water had the ability to wash away anything. Not to mention having psychic powers added an extra layer of visual stimulation to the mix. Teru lifted his finger and watched the water spiral upward as though he were creating a tube made entirely of water. He brought it all around the bathroom in swirls and loops as though he were tangling the string of water around like a knot. There really was a theraputic quality to water.

Teru spun the string of water around until he formed it into a ball floating straight above his head. It was during these times he'd let the water pour down on his head as though it were a shower, but Teru looked longer into the ball, staring at his distorted reflection. Teru liked the bath because it brought him a sense of nostalgia. But…

Teru's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a ring. That ringtone…

A woman. There was a woman, her face clear as day. Older. Middle aged. Black hair. She was smiling.

"I'm proud of you, Teruki."

The ball popped with a loud splash, and suddenly the whole bathroom was wet. It was a special ringtone. One he had set specifically for his mother. Teru was frozen in place as it rang. And it rang. It rang and rang and rang and it just wouldn't seem to stop. And just like that, his mind raced through thought after thought. Memory after memory.

"You're just like me." "What's the matter, pansy? Can't stand up?" "Do you think we'll get married one day?" "We'll always love you no matter what." "I miss you." "You're like a superhero!" "You've changed…" "You're terrible."

Teru got up. The phone. The phone. The phone. The fucking phone! Water rushed off of Teru's body and he didn't care. He had to stop it. He had to end it. He had to… he had to…

But Teru's jumbled thoughts were interrupted by a loud shatter. He barely had time to react. He raised his arms up to protect his face as glass shards came flying toward his body. His arms and chest were not spared. He could feel the sharp pains. Teru slowly lowered his arms and looked at the mirror. Not much remained of it. But there were some glass shards on the bottom left that didn't go flying off. It was still cracked and Teru was reflected in pieces as if sliced apart and put back together, but the pieces no longer fit.

Teru looked down at his arms. There were two glass shards sticking out of his left arm and one sticking out of his right. His chest had several open cuts bleeding a deep red. Teru was not writhing in pain. He was not about to quickly take care of the wounds. It was almost funny how calm he was. And he was just freaking out a moment ago. But the second he saw the sight of his own blood, his heart rate slowed down. His eyes relaxed.

Yes. Teru was relaxed. He'd seen the sight of blood many times before, but only now he had begun to realize just what a pretty color it was. Teru had never been the biggest fan of the color red, but the color was the most stunning shade of it he had ever seen. Deep and subtle, yet bright and vibrant at the same time. It was hypnotic.

No, wait a second. Hold on. Maybe that's kind of fucked up. Teru lifted the glass out of his arms with telekinesis as he held them out over the sink. Damn, they really did hurt. As Teru gently lifted the pieces of glass out, he could feel warm blood dripping down from his arms into the sink. It wasn't much. If the glass had hit the underside of his arms he might be in real danger. But it was just the backs, so it was probably fine. He lifted up the other shards of the mirror that were scattered around him. He had been inspired by Mob's ability fix an entire school building to make it look as though nothing had happened, so Teru had learned how to fix something as small as a broken mirror. He just needed to separate the blood from the shards that cut into him and put all the pieces into their proper places like a puzzle. But he hesitated before fusing all the pieces together. He wasn't sure if he wanted to get a full look at himself without the hiding behind the cracks. As it was, he probably looked miserable.

Teru didn't look at the mirror when he fixed it. He could tell he had done his job. But he didn't really want to see the finished project. Instead he looked down into the safety of his damaged arms and focused on the pain. And as the sting of the wounds settled in Teru let out a small laugh. So small, it could have been mistaken for a sharp exhale. But Teru looked down at his bloodied arms with a melancholy smile of a boy who had accepted and succumbed to defeat.

It's better like this.

* * *

Teru didn't bother patching up the bite mark on his thumb. If it got infected, whatever. Who cares. Teru didn't. What he did care about was that it was now 5:00am and he had been searching this whole night for Ritsu of all people. Well, whatever. This was easier to do. At least he had Ritsu to blame for all of this. Still, he couldn't believe that Ritsu had been lying to everyone about their training sessions.

…

Scratch that. He could definitely believe it. Still, it was irritating. What was even more irritating was how much he was worrying his brother again.

Guess some people don't learn from their mistakes.

Granted, Teru had somewhat been dragging out the search. Mostly because the place where he most expected to find Ritsu was the place he least wanted Ritsu to be. But Teru knew where he would be from the start. And like an idiot, Teru decided to help Ritsu keep his little secret. So he covered for him, pretended that he didn't know anything, and suggested they split up to search all over town. And now, Teru was flying over trees, looking for some asshole who never learns.

Teru stopped when he saw the familiar crumbling building. A lot of the trees surrounding it were toppled over onto their sides, and the flat ground seemed to be overturned and a lot less grassy. Teru lowered himself onto the squishy surface of the dirt. Just what was Ritsu doing here?

"So you came."

The voice seemed to be coming from above. Teru looked over to see Ritsu standing atop the ruins, painted orange by the barely rising sun. Teru could see dirt and scratches covering his whole body. He looked as though he had been living out in the forrest for days.

From Ritsu's perspective, Teru was hardly visible. The sun was blinding him over the trees and yet teru was a figure in the dark, obscured by the shadows that the light left in it's place. But Ritsu could sense it was Teru. He was alone. He was tired.

Perfect.

"Ritsu…" said Teru, looking up at the glowing boy. "What are you doing here? Why did-"

"I knew you would come, Teru-sa- No. Teru."

Teru began to feel a bit anxious by how cryptic he was being. But really, Ritsu wasn't a threat. He had nothing to worry about.

Or so he thought.

Ritsu looked down, and his eyes were obscured by the shadow of his hair that was beginning to rise like the hair of a cat when it's scared. But Ritsu did not show fear, but rather a wide grin on his face.

And then Teru felt the ground giving out underneath him. It took him a few seconds to realize what was going on, and by the time those few seconds had passed he found himself hitting the ground as dirt began to fall from above. Teru reacted quick, throwing up a barrier and throwing himself in the direction he believed to be "up". Teru knew he had broken out of the ground when he saw light and no longer felt dirt all around him, but he did not react quick enough to avoid getting temporarily blinded by dirt. He landed on what was hopefully stable ground and coughed out the dirt that had entered his lungs. But he could barely catch a second to breathe before he heard something rumbling behind him. He turned around and shot his hands out, but the large object rumbling toward him was already on his hands. And from the dry splintering feeling Teru could tell it was a tree.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Teru forced all his psychic energy into his hands at once and broke the tree in half, but the two pieces now surrounded teru on either side and both of them were heading over to him. Teru decided to avoid the threats instead of face them and using his psychic powers, he jumped as high as he could backwards until he found himself hitting a wall, and sliding down onto ground that was highly unstable. And that was when Teru felt the full force of a shoe slamming into his mouth.

Ritsu!

Teru could feel his energy. Now he had him. Teru was still mostly blinded by the dirt in his eyes, but he could sense the psychic power that Ritsu was using behind his blows. His arm was coming next. Teru grabbed his incoming fist, twisted it, and used his other arm to send Ritsu flying backwards into what was hopefully the forrest. He made sure to hit right in the stomach to knock the wind out of him as well.

Teru wiped dirt from his eyes and stood up. His vision was still blurry, but at least he could make out the scenery. But Teru felt something hard rolling around in his mouth. Was it a rock? No, it was too smooth. Teru spat it out, and felt around in his mouth with his tongue. There was a gap where a tooth should have been…

RITSU!

Ritsu could just barely hear Teru over his own struggle to stay conscious after the blow Teru had delivered. And as he got close, he began to feel vines tightly wrap around his body and lift him off the ground and into the air.

Chlorokinesis?

Ritsu didn't know that was a skill Teru had learned, but it didn't quite matter. He was in no shape to fight against it. And to think, after all that he had done to Teru he was still able to do this. Teru truly was a monster. As Ritsu caught his breath he found himself dangling in the air, tightly bound by the plants around him. Teru was below, with hands on his knees wiping dirt from his eyes and coughing. When he looked up, Ritsu could see his eyes were red and watery

"Ritsu…" Teru's voice was raspy and angry. Ritsu smiled. "Are you fucking… trying to kill me?!"

"Even if I was trying to kill you, I wouldn't be able to. Isn't that right, Teru?"

"I've been searching for you for literal hours and this is the thanks I get?!"

"I think it's a pretty good thanks. Didn't you say you wanted me to surprise you? Well, consider yourself surprised!"

Teru opened his mouth as if to retort, but he closed it, realizing he couldn't argue with that. But then Teru spoke again.

"That's not really the whole story, is it?"

"Of course not."

"Then what is?"

Ritsu couldn't hold back laughter anymore. Everything was going perfectly.

"What are you…" Teru began to sweat. He truly had no idea what was going on.

"Teru, how long are you going to keep up this façade? It really doesn't suit you."

"Huh?"

"This whole act. I've grown tired of it. I want to see the real you, Teru."

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

"That's because you aren't being honest with yourself. You see, I'm showing you the real me, so it would only be polite if you could return the favor."

"What do you want me to do, beat you up?"

"I want you to show me what you're holding back."

"What exactly am I holding back?"

"Teru, you try so hard to hide it, but the thing is, we're the same. You can't hide it from me. I can read you like a book. Let me guess. You were popular in school. You cheated at life because you had powers. You might have been a bit of a bully, too. You were probably full of yourself until you met my brother, and you made the mistake of triggering his powers. So now you're a 'changed person' am I wrong?"

Teru didn't respond, but judging by the look on his face, Ritsu had nailed it.

"Well, we aren't much different," Ritsu continued, "I mean, I originally once thought I could change my worldview too. I thought I could live happily. I thought I was capable of something like that. But I was a fool. I know what you're going through, Teru. You want to be different. But you need to know the truth. You are exactly the same."

"Ritsu…"

Ritsu could feel the vines coiled around his body get tighter, but he continued to speak.

"I see it, Teru. I see it in your eyes. You can't stand me. You're trying to take everything out on me. You're just reenacting those scenarios you'd play out back when you were at the top of your school. Back before you 'changed.' But you haven't changed at all, have you?"

"Shut up…"

"You're an asshole at heart. You're personality still reeks of a self-entitled brat. And that's what you are at your core. This is who you really are, Teru."

"Ritsu… if you know what's good for you, you'll shut up now."

"I never knew what was good for me! And neither do you! But I've realized that people can't change. You're either born good, or you're not. And you, Teru, are a bad person at heart."

But don't get me wrong, thought Ritsu, I don't hate you. In fact, Teru, I think you just might be the only person who understands me. That's why I want you to experience this with me. The freedom of defeat… I am truly invincible right now.

"Oh? And are you much different?" snapped Teru. "You and your fucking brother complex… You know he doesn't need you to protect him right? All you ever do is fucking worry him! Are you scared of him? Pathetic! You don't even deserve to call yourself a Kageyama! You're only a burden to him!"

"I know," said Ritsu, calmly. "That's why I'm here. You can't hurt me with those words, Teru. Because I've accepted the truth. Have you?"

"Yes! I've changed! That's the truth!"

"No. It isn't."

"Shut up!"

Ritsu found himself darting quickly towards the ground and hitting it with a hard smack. In the process, a few of the vines binding Ritsu had loosened up, so Ritsu broke free using all the strength he had. But as he stood up he found an air whip coiled around his neck. Teru flung Ritsu as far as he could into the sky and then shortly followed him up there and grabbed Ritsu by the neck with his hand.

"I'm going to make you take it all back," said Teru, gripping tighter and tighter onto Ritsu's neck. "I'm going to make you beg for me to stop. So you better not go crying to your brother after I'm through with you."

Teru loosened his grip as if to alow Ritsu a chance to retort. So Ritsu did it with a smile.

"I'd love to see that."

"Tch."

Teru wrapped another air whip around Ritsu's leg and quickly flew back to the ground, dragging Ritsu down with him. But Ritsu was prepared, and was able to break his fall without breaking any bones. Teru didn't let up. He brought the trees that Ritsu had prepared for him into the sky and lit them both on fire using pyrokinesis. The look in his eyes was a mixture of both rage and ecstasy. From an outsider's perspective, it may have looked like Teru was genuinely trying to kill Ritsu. But Ritsu knew that was the furthest thing from his mind. At this point, Teru had stopped seeing Ritsu as a person. He had become an idea. A concept. A thing that Teru had to crush in order to protect himself. But the more he tried to crush it, the more that concept would take over him until Teru officially became the thing he hated most.

Teru hated himself. He was ashamed of himself. Ritsu was absolutely certain of that.

And as Ritsu dodged flaming trees he felt that none of Teru's malice was truly directed towards him. In a sense, there was a comfort to it all. Perhaps it's true that misery loves company.

As fires surrounded Ritsu, obscuring Teru from his vision, he knew exactly what he wanted from the start.

He wanted to get hurt.

And maybe this was fine. Maybe this was peaceful. Maybe this was right.

But it all ended in an instant.

Ritsu put his barrier up wide to keep out the fire. Teru knew he would do this. So he tried something he had been working on for a while. He hadn't yet perfected the technique, but his sense of logic ended when rage took over.

What happened next happened in under a second, but to the two espers, it might as well have happened in slow motion. Teru suddenly appeared inside Ritsu's barrier, with an energy bomb charging in his hand. But Teru's smile quickly turned from ecstacy to panic. And Ritsu could tell exactly what that meant. But it was too late for Teru to stop it, and it was too late for Ritsu to lower his barrier.

Everything went white.


	11. Fallen

"I can relate to what you're going through."

The air was thick with dust rising from the rubble that littered the ground, and yet through it all, Shou ran quickly, with confidence in each step. As he treaded over the rubble like it wasn't even there, he looked almost triumphant, even though the battle was far from over. Ritsu couldn't remember what the world around him looked like. It was a darkened world with only rubble from fallen buildings. There was no end in sight, and Ritsu had no Idea where Shou was leading him. But he could still see the back of Shou's jacket, and he followed it closely, as though it were a beacon guiding him through the dark. He was something to hold onto. Someone to follow. Someone to be.

It was always impossible.

The ground rumbled below the two of them. Shou did not notice, so Ritsu said nothing. They kept moving forward.

The rubble began to break apart and fall into holes and crevices. Shou did not notice, so Ritsu wanted to believe it didn't matter. They kept moving forward.

A hole opened up between the two of them, and just like that Ritsu could no longer follow from behind. But Shou did not notice, so Ritsu didn't call out. He just stood still and watched as Shou kept moving forward.

He kept moving forward.

He kept moving forward.

He fell.

* * *

Ritsu awoke with a jolt but soon recoiled in pain and agony. But even as he attempted to quell his pains, every slight movement brought his awareness to a new pain in a new spot. And the cold hard floor he was rolled over on didn't help. As Ritsu's eyes adjusted to the scenery, he was relieved that his ears still seemed to work. He could Teru's voice talking from down the… hallway? Were they back in the ruins? Ritsu tried to listen in on the conversation.

"...mber the place we were when we got kidnapped?" He paused, for a moment, then started again. "Yeah. I don't know."

Ritsu was curled up in a fetal position on right side, back turned to the source of Teru's voice, but he could tell that he was probably on the phone. Ritsu tried to get a better view of the world around him. As he moved his head slightly, he could tell that it was resting on his own hoodie like a pillow, and resting on top of of his body like a blanket was Teru's track jacket. He tried to prop himself up to get a better look, and he noticed both of them were slightly burnt and ripped around the sleeves.

"I don't know, but are you in contact with Suzuki-kun?"

Fuck!

At the sound of the name, Ritsu panicked and tried to quickly turn around. But as he rested his left arm on the ground he let out a strained yell.

For a few seconds, he couldn't focus on anything but the stinging pain that ran all the way up his left arm. It hurt more than any other part of his body. Just simple pressure was too much to handle. But under his heavy breathing he could hear Teru swearing, as if he had just noticed that Ritsu was awake.

"Oh, uh it's nothing I just…" Teru's voice was now panicked and fast, "Well, we just might need a healer is all anyway okay thanks bye!"

Ritsu could hear Teru quickly hanging up the phone and jogging toward Ritsu's writhing body.

"Oh my god, Ritsu."

Ritsu's vision was blurred by the pain, but he could tell Teru was kneeled down next to him. And he could feel Teru's hands grabbing him from the back by the shoulder and laying him down on his back with Ritsu's head resting in Teru's lap.

And then there was relief, accompanied by a warm yellow glow.

"Take deep breaths," said Teru, calmly. Ritsu did as he was told and did nothing but breathe for the next minute as Teru continued doing whatever he was doing to his arm. And during that minute Ritsu got a good look at Teru.

He was wearing a bright purple tank top that appeared to be the only clean thing on him. Everything else was dirty or bruised. His lip was red and purple, yet amazingly enough it wasn't swollen. But Ritsu couldn't say the same for his right eye or his right shoulder. Both were black and blue and Teru's eye was almost swollen shut. His hair was a mess, sticking out in all directions and curling into knots. Not to mention it was full of dirt and ash. Once Ritsu's breathing had calmed down, he decided to speak.

"You look terrible."

Teru slid back and let Ritsu's head fall onto the hard ground as he stood up. "Okay that's enough," said Teru in an irritated tone.

Ritsu groaned, but his arm did feel a little better than before. The pain was still there but it wasn't unbearable.

Teru walked around to Ritsu's left side and stared down at him, clutching his right shoulder with his left hand. His entire right arm seemed limp, but it was hard to tell for sure since it was surprisingly (almost freakishly) muscular.

"I'm not the best at healing more serious injuries," Teru started, straight-faced and serious, "But I can at least kill the pain and reduce some of the swelling. Those were second degree burns, though, so try not to use your left arm at all."

Ritsu brought himself to a sitting position using his right arm and looked down at his left forearm to see a rather grotesque mass of ugly red blisters and swelling that caused him to cringe. Teru continued speaking.

"If it helps any, we're both in the same boat. I somehow managed to dislocate my right shoulder in that last attack. So between the two of us, we have two arms."

"Did I lose…?"

"If I won, I sure as hell don't feel like a winner." As he spoke, Teru looked down at the floor and lowered his brow. Ritsu was intrigued.

"What happened?"

Teru looked up, pulling himself out of his melancholy expression and spoke again. "I misjudged my own strength. I've been practicing teleportation, but I hadn't perfected it yet. So when we exploded, I couldn't escape your barrier and I was blown back and dislocated my shoulder in the process. If I had passed out like you did, we would have both burned to death. But I put a barrier around the trees and let them burn until there was nothing left to burn. So luckily, we didn't start a forest fire."

"You mean you didn't start a forest fire."

"No. I mean we . I wouldn't have started that fire if you didn't attack me in the first place!"

Ritsu could tell that Teru was starting to get pissed off. But Ritsu's exhaustion left him with no filter. And he was too tired to really care. But Teru's tense expression relaxed itself with a sigh.

"I called your brother and told them where we were and that we were injured. Nothing else."

"Why not?"

"Because that's your job. You have a lot of explaining to do, and it's gonna be a while before they get here. So, before you explain anything to them, you're gonna explain everything to me."

Teru bent over and reached his left hand out. Ritsu paused for a second, and then grabbed it with his right. Teru's grip was firm and steady despite the damage he took, and pulled him easily. But Ritsu's legs were weak, and once Teru let go, Ritsu began visibly struggling to keep himself up. Teru caught him again, and let Ritsu put an arm around him for support. A yellow energy surrounded both of them, and without warning, Ritsu found himself being lifted off the ground. If he had the energy, he would have reacted with more than a simple startled grunt. But he wasn't in the mood to question Teru, and they both rose out through the hole in the ceiling and landed gently onto the roof of the building. From there, Teru gently led Ritsu to the edge, where you could perfectly see the aftermath of the fight.

Surrounding the entire building was what looked like the start of a moat that would surround a castle, only messier and filled with a few toppled trees. In the corner there was a pile of ash and charcoaled trees, still fresh with smoke rising from the remains of the fight.

"So," Teru started again, "Explain."

Ritsu snorted, and Teru looked at him as if he had lost his mind. The snort turned into a giggle, and that turned to a full hearty laugh.

"How…" gasped Ritsu through his laughter, "How the hell am I gonna explain this?!"

Teru could only watch in surprise, as Ritsu let go of him and collapsed to his knees, practically wheezing.

"It's so fucking stupid!" That was the only explanation Ritsu could offer to Teru. That was the truth. It was just so fucking stupid. It was so big and grand and stupid. And Teru couldn't help but let out a snort at the sight of Ritsu absolutely losing it on the roof. And he began to laugh as well. And soon, the two of them were practically collapsed in tears, gasping for air.

It was just so fucking stupid.


End file.
